Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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