Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Where is the hickey?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The power of my boobs compel you
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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