The best revenge is premature balding
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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