I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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