i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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