that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
