I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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