I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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