i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
