Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize