Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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