Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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