Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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