allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
