yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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