I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
