I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
