If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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