then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I want to make a zoo with you.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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