He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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