I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
