quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it glows. i had to have it.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
