So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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