Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
