I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
