It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
