We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i believe in u and ur pee
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