Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
