3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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