we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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