new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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