The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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