I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize