i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
two words...techno handjob
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
