Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
