I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
