and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
