Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
