Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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