some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
