Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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