Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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