I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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