O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
