FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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