I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
"it" just moved
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
