what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
