Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
