I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
