Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
