Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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