What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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