so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
