That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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