break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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