Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
