I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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