yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
