Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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