i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
