I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
