Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
